My beautiful Nasturtiums took a hit this week when old poopy returned with her twins and over a two-day period ate ALL OF THEM besides leaving a vine still alive. The beautiful flowers have really brightened things up this year until that bitch ate them.
Nasturtiums aren’t on the menu for elk or deer which is why I plant them, but to old poopy maybe they have a psycho-active effect. Maybe she’s an addict because she probably consumed several pounds of them which made her GI EXPLODE. She was spewing shit all over the yard like a fountain. It was in long lines where she had just walked shitting herself. It was in big green puddles that didn’t seem to ever dry up. There was elk shit everywhere, which I guess might be why she ate my chamomile next. (Also not edible for elk, but is renowned to ease stomach discomfort.)
Anyway, not only is old poopy dumber than a brick she’s aggressive and I have to watch out for her and she’s impossible to run off. I was really surprised when she showed up with twins. I feel bad for those kids.
The other evening we went on a Costco date – I used to get ice cream, now I get a water – anyway, on the road there were large winged insects. I’m not sure what they were, may flies in September?? Dragon flies? There were millions of them, this was around 8pm at sunset, and the bats were coming in thick. It was really something to see. We’ve had bats in the shop lately.
Walking the beach
Sometimes I get busy and don’t make it to the beach which is a shame so this year I’ve been trying, I put myself a reminder on my august calendar to get out there. I’ve been going with my kids or husband as they have time available, sometimes I go alone. It’s nice out there.
I still haven’t gotten to my oil painting.
I was so sick for about a month or so I guess – it has really sucked. I’m making ‘a recovery’ but my intestines are in trouble, I have strictures, I have adhesions, I have an adhesion with my bladder, I’ve had diverticul-ie however you spell that shit and infections and after years of subtle worsening GI disease my intestines are shot. I live in fear of waste matter getting stuck and not able to get through my intestine, massive infection, perforation etc. I feel down though. I have two states, depressed and down / arrogant and triumphant. I just swivel back and forth between the two making me one hell of an unpleasant person. My family would say that’s not true, so maybe it’s just in my head. I always feel a little punished for my indomitable spirit on good days, how dare I be confident.
I’m on a gluten free, dairy free (working on that), low-fat, low-meat (4oz or less per meal), low vegetable matter (I don’t digest it well) and no caffeine (I’m not doing well on that front, but I have cut way down). I am feeling better – this diet works for me when nothing else has. Nobody else’s fancy shmancy bullshit diets have worked. I’m sure someone will be all smarmy and be like, “oooh you think your problem is gluten do you….blah blah blah” because I heard that shit from doctors and fuck doctors, yeah it really was gluten and if they had told me that ten years ago, twenty-years ago, maybe my intestines wouldn’t be so fucked. Thanks for the out of control auto-immune issues you couldn’t diagnose since I was a freakin’ baby. Fucktards.
Better news — Korean language lessons are going well. I feel like I’m progressing way better than when I was studying Japanese. I am still working on reading it and reading it more quickly and memorizing groups of letters (insert some moron going, “I learned to read Korean in five minutes and could read an entire page of Korean on Wikipedia!”) The conditional letters, dipthongs and how to hold my tongue to pronounce the “lr” — I’m working on those. We don’t have some of these sounds in English and some of our pronunciations are too hard ‘sharp’ – so it will take awhile. There are words that I can hear and understand but can’t say and it’s hard to find someone or someplace breaking it down sound by sound and explaining how to say it. But otherwise progress is being made.
This is a lot longer than I thought it would be. It’s more ranty then I thought. I’ve just been in a lot of pain and angry at so much political bullshit, it permeates everything, and it’s boring, dull, like it all has the same character. After a while it becomes like processed food, no matter what you buy you kinda feel like it’s all the same chemicals and cellulose. Everyone thinks they’re hearing a new story, but it’s just the same old glop on remix and the message is, “be afraid! Be very afraid!” all bullshit, all the time. There is never something new, it becomes oddly reassuring like the news is the weather channel or a televised golf game (Alzheimer patients love the weather channel and golf games) – yet kinda terrifying because maybe this day, this time, they’re going to lock us in our homes again and take away the shit food. There are questions we are not allowed to ask — and all these stupid motherfuckers never get upset that the conversations are all scripted, directed and put together simplistically like a preschooler’s paint by numbers. People get pissed off by what they’re supposed to get pissed off by, “OH NO you said all lives matter! You must be ONE OF THOSE!” *slow clap* wow, big brain motherfucker. Big brain.
Anyway, I can’t even put a list of questions I can’t ask on the Internet or I might get the eye of sauron big brother staring at me 24/7 even more than it is now. You know what I think though? The truth they’re hiding: is weird. It’s so weird they don’t think you’ll notice and put the pieces together.
Oi’ I talk too much. Good thing I’m on my way out I guess with this GI issue. Fuck.
