Plus race ‘results’ – DNF, DNS (Did Not Start) & Health update

Above, our girls Hime (Princess) and Wakako (Beautiful) – they’re around 10 months old and so sweet. Wakako has Torty power and is super social diva. Hime is a shy princess who loves to hunt and play. When we first brought them home our old boy Poutou had a panic attack. Although his mental health issues have layers with arthritis pain, anxiety and dementia – he’s pulling his fur about 60% less. I think as things move forwards he’ll feel better having the girls to watch. We brought home two from the shelter to be company for each other as they’ll be indoor kitties and Poutou is too old and infirm to provide them with social connection in a meaningful way. I hope they make a happy family along with us soon. They seem to be adjusting.

The drive to Silverton was fairly clear and up until the last 7 miles I thought we would encounter neither snow, ice, mud or cloud.
Initially I was delighted to see some snow – we were going to have an epic adventure on the 7 mile trail race.
The last 7 miles became wooded, dark, snowy, obviously plowed and as we went towards the park far more difficult terrain.
Back to training on Kwis Kwis trail – although I had to abort this run early also. I did put in four miles as I had begun down on Netul farther down, but I didn’t feel well by the end. I was gasping for air and nauseated. Again I started to get fearful that I may have a medical emergency where no one could reach me. My blood pressure was up, my blood sugar down and I had no water / electrolyte rescue mix.

The campground was plowed but packed with people. Most of the ground packed and icy. I had yaktrax, a kind of shoe addition for traction and a walking stick – but the cold was absolutely bitter and although the weather outside the park was clear it changed into a bit of a menace as the elevation increased and the hills created an unusual weather corridor.

We slipped along to the packet pickup. Other runners were there, younger than my children and cross country runners. They were having a blast in the snow and not noticing that the windchill was absolutely bitter. I’ve run in the desert at 28 degrees – this was worse. It was bone chilling and I was shivering and shaking in no time and I realized there was no gear I had brought that would stand up to 7 miles of this and if it started to rain, with my slow mile time, I could be in real trouble.

I had also dealt with chest cardiac pain most of the ride, which I hadn’t mentioned to my partner in crime. I checked my phone, absolutely no signal at all. If I had a heart attack out on the ice covered trail the rescue would be difficult and terribly inconvenient for the staff and ruin the fun for volunteers and crew.

It wasn’t going to work. I’m not in good enough shape to take on that trail. I don’t know how, at my age and with my medical, to even get there. 🙁

CAPTAIN PANCREAS

My pancreas is no longer producing the enzymes I need, including the enzyme that nullifies bile. I went to the doctor this week but due to scheduling issues I am now waiting until May to see the doctor. I’m … unconvinced this can be treated with chemicals and potions. I think this requires a very extreme lifestyle makeover and I wish I could say that I had done a good job of that this week but I give myself a 50% compliance.

I have been having big green salads with mostly bitter baby greens and raw vegetables. The dressing is a small drizzle of olive oil and balsamic.

The pancreatic fluids have filled my abdomen and I look pregnant.

My last doctor appointment was $900. I’m pretty keenly away that any treatment will probably be bullshit with a side of making everything worse and potentially killing me and that it will be so god damn expensive that nobody will be able to afford my funeral.

SILVER LINING

The Reddit forum for Pancreatic EPI has been very helpful. It listed out the vitamins I would be deficient in and I’ve been taking B12 everyday, fish oil with my vitamin D/K pill, and having a protein shake and green drink. Along with the big green salad, sometimes with an egg, avocado, a chicken patty or something — I feel a little bit better. I painted yesterday and felt more optimistic.

In the future I’ll probably spend more time in the gym and out with other people because I don’t want to have a medical emergency.

I wish desperately I could drop weight. I think it would really help. But it’s difficult, very difficult.