Bridge over Swash Lake, July 2022.
This is the longest I have been well in years. It has been a good July.
I did have seizures come back like clock work though and it tanked my mood like a switch and that went on for the usual 72 hours. I go from normal to unlimited depression like BAM. It doesn’t always do that, but a lot of times. The aura markers for seizure for me are the same as migraine. I usually start to see movement out of the corner of my eye, a slither, a spider leg, it makes me jump, the pavement – did it just move? That’s a bad sign of things to come for me. Brain noise too, like a loud buzzing. I had both migraine and seizure this month, but not in June – but June was Covid and very little food so eh’ hard to say, I feel like something triggers it you know?
Anyway, I don’t want to be sick anymore.
I don’t want to be an ill middle ager. Fat and metabolically shot to hell.
I don’t want to be old, in a power chair with my catheter on the side.
I don’t want to be plugged in to ‘meta’ (or any other online bullshit).
I want to be fit. I want to be happy. I want to have fun. I want good relationships in my life.
Anyway, I hope August is a great month too.
I wonder if I lived in a cabin in the woods away from a million electronics with wifi and radio signals if my head wouldn’t hum all the time, if I would feel better.
